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• Cover
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Dedication
• Preface: Tricks of the Trade
• Acknowledgments
• About the Author
• Chapter 1: A Tough Lesson that Forever Changed the Way I Work
• Secrets and Best Practices During First Contact
• A Cherished Secret
• Chapter 2: Admitting You’re Lost
• Wandering in the Dark
• When You Feel Awkward and Lost
• Behind the Curtain
• Reconciling the Need for Definitive Answers With the Realities of Uncertainty
• Chapter 3: Theories are Simply Flexible Frameworks
• Theories are Stories to Explain Things
• Theoretical Purity is No More
• Some Notable Figures Chime in with their Secrets
• Chapter 4: Developing your Own Voice
• Conflicts and Arguments that Stifle Individual Voices
• Sorting Out Clanging Voices
• Going Beyond the Master
• The Secret to Developing a Signature Style of Practice
• Chapter 5: Assessing and Diagnosing Differently
• Collaborative Assessment
• Looking Backward to Move Forward
• Assessing Strengths and Resources
• And Then What Happened?
• Some Essential Assessment Questions
• Chapter 6: Deep, Deep Listening
• Love is a Four-Letter Word
• Listen to What is Not being Said—and Other Subtleties
• Being Fully Present
• Mindfulness: The Gift That Keeps on Giving
• Deep Listening has Never Been More Important
• Chapter 7: Don’t Forget the Context and Culture
• A Reconceptualization of What Culture Means
• Cultural Constructions
• Challenging Personal Assumptions and Colonized Discourse
• Chapter 8: There are No Difficult Clients, Only Difficult Counselors
• Be Careful What You Ask People
• Blame the Client
• On Demonstrating Flexibility and Adaptability in the Face of So-Called Resistance
• Outside Influences on the Therapeutic Relationship
• Rules of Engagement With Challenging Clients
• Chapter 9: Boundaries Opaque and Permeable
• Honoring the Client’s Theory of Change
• Relational Protections and Transformations
• The Value of Experiential Learning and Boundary Considerations
• Chapter 10: It Takes Chutzpah
• The Food Chain
• Going Beyond What is Convenient and Familiar
• Personal and Professional Development
• Chapter 11: Clients Lie—a Lot—and It Might Not Matter
• What to Believe?
• When to Challenge, When to Question, When to Wait
• The Meanings of Deception
• Dark Secrets
• Chapter 12: Techniques Sometimes Matter
• The More the Better?
• Not a Technique but a Way of Being with Clients
• When It’s Time to Do Something
• Chapter 13: More Advanced Techniques that are Rarely Mentioned
• Experience Counts—All Kinds of Experience
• Advanced Techniques that May be Common but are Very, Very Difficult to Do Well
• Masters Reveal Some Secrets
• Chapter 14: Creativity and Learning Far Afield
• The Power of Direct Experience
• Accessing Alternative Modalities
• Impediments to Creativity
• Secrets to Accessing Greater Creativity
• Chapter 15: Who Changes Whom?
• Some Questions to Consider
• The Stories We Hear
• Who Impacts Us and Why?
• Chapter 16: Recovering from Mistakes and Learning from Failures
• Failures that are Never to Be Forgotten
• What is Bad Counseling Anyway?
• Processing Mistakes and Failures
• Chapter 17: Practicing What you Preach
• Our Authentic Selves in Action
• Exceptional Counselors: Who are They . . . and How Do I Become One?
• Appendix: Some Challenging Questions for Aspiring Exceptional Counselors
• Technical Support
• End User License Agreement