Efnisyfirlit

• Cover Page
• Half Title Page
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Dedication
• Contents
• List of exercies
• List of tables
• Introduction to first edition
• Introduction to second edition
• Acknowledgements
• Part I Loss and nurture
• 1. Early attachments and loss
• Natural or necessary losses
• Some studies of attachment behaviour
• Quality of attachment
• Attunement and psychoneurobiology
• Secure attachment
• Short separation
• Longer separation
• Insecure attachment
• Summary
• 2. Adult attachment patterns
• Early separations and losses
• Summary
• 3. The nurturing environment
• Aspects of the counselling approach
• Summary
• Part II Death as a particular form of loss
• 4. Experiences of death and bereavement
• Circumstantial losses
• Summary
• 5. The effect of external circumstances and internal factors on the experience of bereavement
• External determining circumstances
• Internal factors
• Summary
• 6. Historical change in attitudes to death and bereavement
•  Summary
• 7. Cultural variety
• The value of mourning
• Mourning in different cultural and religious groups
• Judaism
• Christianity
• Islam
• Hinduism
• Sikhism
• Buddhism
• Humanists and non-affiliated groups
• General considerations
• Summary
• 8. Children’s grief ‘Gift of tears’
• 0–2 years
• 2–5 years
• 5–8 years
• 8–1 2 years
• Adolescence
• Summary
• 9. Personal and family experiences of loss
• Drawing your own lifeline
• Summary
• Part III Working with the grieving
• 10. Basic loss counselling skills ‘Give sorrow words’
• Active listening and distractions
• External distractions
• Distractions in your own behaviour
• Attitudinal distractions
• Distractions in your feelings
• Skill of reflecting experience and feelings
• Skill of reflecting using different levels of empathy
• Example of empathy levels
• Summary
• 11. Tasks of mourning Meaning and Internalisation
• The tasks
• To accept the reality of the loss
• To experience the pain of grief
• To adapt to a world in which the deceased is missing
• To emotionally relocate the deceased and move on with life
• The development of continuing bonds
• The process of adaptation
• Narrative creation
• The development and maintenance of continuing bonds
• Summary
• 12. Further skills related to the tasks of mourning and ending counselling
• Setting limits or boundaries
• Beginnings: sessions and relationships
• First session of a new counselling relationship
• Possible openings
• The grief emerges into an already established professional relationship
• The grief erupts into the start of a session in established counselling
• Endings: sessions and relationships
• Session endings
• Ending the relationship
• Time-limited counselling
• Normalising disturbing experiences
• Hallucinations
• ‘Irrational’ behaviour
• Understanding dreams
• ‘Irrational’ beliefs
• Persistent thoughts or images
• Summary
• 13. Ways of helping children
• Immediacy about information and feelings
• When feelings get lost
• The use of drawing
• The ‘faces game’
• The use of sound and stories
• The ‘boxes’ game
• The use of drama, play and music
• Techniques to explore relationships
• When information is lacking
• Maintaining links
• Further considerations
• Summary
• Part IV Anger and guilt
• 14. Understanding anger and guilt
• Origins of anger and guilt
• Uncomplicated anger and guilt in grieving
• Complicated anger and guilt in grieving
• Summary
• 15. Working with anger and guilt in more complicated grief
• The ‘stuck’ patterns
• 1 Idealisation as a protection against anger or guilt
• How the pattern functions
• Counsellor’s feelings and dilemmas
• Counsellor’s responses
• Counsellor’s difficulties
• 2 Vilification as a protection against pain and underlying love
• How the pattern functions
• Counsellor’s feelings and dilemmas
• Counsellor’s responses
• Counsellor’s difficulties
• 3 Anger as a protection against intimacy and underlying despair
• How the pattern functions
• Counsellor’s feelings and dilemmas
• Counsellor’s responses
• Counsellor’s difficulties
• 4 Depression as a protection against intense feelings
• Martha
• How the pattern functions
• Counsellor’s feelings and dilemmas
• Counsellor’s responses
• Counsellor’s difficulties
• Peter
• How the pattern functions
• Counsellor’s feelings and dilemmas
• Counsellor’s responses
• Counsellor’s difficulties
• 5 Suicidal thoughts as a fantasy of release from pain and despair
• How the pattern functions
• Counsellor’s feelings and dilemmas
• Counsellor’s responses
• Counsellor’s difficulties
• Drawing together the threads
• Summary
• Part V Professional implications
• 16. Necessary consultation for complicated grief
• ‘Swamped by feelings’
• ‘Feeling cut out’
• Other areas in which consultation may be required
• Sexual abuse in childhood
• Suicidal intent or serious suicidal thoughts
• Somatisation: ‘weeping through the body’
• Behavioural messages
• Client behaviour within the counselling relationship
• Silence
• Persistent lateness
• Medication
• Summary
• 17. Assessment and referral
• Assessment skills
• Referral skills
• Reasons for immediate referral
• Reasons for later referral
• Timing of referrals
• Method of referral
• Early stage referral
• Later stage referral
• Summary
• 18. Supervision
• Functions of supervision
• The restorative function
• The formative function
• The normative function
• The interweaving of supervisory functions
• Uses of feelings
• The counsellor’s feelings
• Use of counsellor’s feelings to locate denied feelings in the client
• Use of counsellor’s feelings to recognise the counsellor’s need
• Reflected feelings in the parallel process
• Use of the supervisor’s feelings
• Supervision for the unexpected
• The value of supervision
• Summary
• 19. Epilogue
• Appendix A Useful Resources
• Appendix B Useful websites
• Appendix C Furthur Reading
• Appendix D Multimedia
• Appendix E Useful BACP publications
• References
• Author Index
• Subject index